Two Ladies who asked for more

I idly mentioned  to two lady friends that Alan Palmer had sent more quotes from "50 sheds" They squealed give us more, please. Not my thing at all but every reader counts so here goes. ! Heaven knows how it has anything to do with France but it is funny.

"Put on this rubber suit and mask," I instructed, calmly.
"Mmmm, kinky!" she purred.
"Yes," I said, "You can't be too careful with all that asbestos in the
shed roof."

"I'm a very naughty girl," she said, biting her lip. "I need to be
punished."
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.

I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window. Despite my
concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.

"Are you sure you can take the pain?" she demanded, brandishing stilettos.
"I think so," I gulped.
"Here we go, then," she said, and showed me the receipt.

"Hurt me!" she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
"Very well," I replied. "You've got a fat arse and no dress sense."
I despair dear reader! 4 ticks for enjoyed, perhaps TAG needs to lower the tone.
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